So after some of the recent events that have taken place this week, I want to encourage everyone to spread love, not hate. The saying “ Love Me While I’m Still Alive” resonates with me. After some recent tragic deaths in the entertainment world even in my close circle of friends, it has shown me how tomorrow is not promised to us. Once our loved ones are gone it’s impossible to turn back the hands of time for time lost. At one or more points in our life, we all experience some type of loss. It could be the loss of a relationship due to a breakup or divorce, of a job or business, of a pet, of a loved one, of health or the sense of safety after a traumatic event. Whatever the tragedy, the natural response is to grieve in some form.

If you are at odds with someone you care for and the relationship can be salvaged I want to encourage you to make it right. Make that call, send that text, take that trip do whatever can be done in your power to fix the strain in your relationship. Take the time to let them know you forgive and love them. Or sat your ego to the side and just be honest with them and yourself then apologize for your part. Try taking the steps to mend or close that chapter. I strongly believe if people do not add value to your life it’s okay to let them know and go. You can’t solely be a giver or taker there has to be a balance for relationships to last. Take some time to evaluate the role you played, are you a taker or giver? If one side weighs more than the other, reflect on what you need to do to balance that out. Sometimes the signs are there, we just need to sit back and take heed to what’s happening right in front of us. And this achieved when your ego and emotions are put to the side to see both sides and both roles in the situation. Because if you do not take the opportunity while they are alive grief of their loss or relationship may result in heavy grief.

Things to remember when grieving…

• There are several stages to grieving. 1st stage, denial with accepting the event which leads to the second stage of anger. Third, dealing with one’s self or part you may have played in the event. Fourth, is depression which is acceptance of the loss. There is no timeline for each stage and you may revisit some stages more than others. Just remember each stage provides something and impact your coping mechanism to process during the stages.

• Recognize the symptoms of grief, especially emotional symptoms which typically manifest in physically. The emotional rollercoaster can result in nausea, fatigue, insomnia, aches/pains or loss/gain in weight. Being able to identify the symptoms can help you in the fight to overcome.

• Allow yourself to grieve. Don’t get stuck in the emotions, allow the tears and emotions to flow. React to the emotions vs. suppress them. Giving in to the grief starts the healing process.

• Lean on your support system. Family and friends are here to listen and offer affection. The network of support provides a caring and safe place to seek refuge.

• Seek help. Join a support group or seek counseling sometimes leaning on your support system is not enough. Sharing with those who have similar experiences also promotes and boost the healing process. If you are apart of a faith-based organization reach out to your leaders for comfort and guidance.

• Focus on the positives but also plan for life event triggers. There may be life milestones that remind you of the loss. Establish away to turn the triggers into a positive moment such as a celebration or find a way to honor their memories.

Love Wins!

The Dream Style

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